This is me venting

I guess it's an understood rule in any medical education program that you, as a student, will without a doubt be unashamedly berated for any and every incorrect answer, no matter how well-thought-out or creative it was. I have experienced said berating many a time these past few weeks, and I hate to admit it, but it's kinda starting to rip me apart... I just wasn't expecting to be made to feel like an idiot on a regular basis, and it's wearing on my emotional stability. I've come home crying on more than one occasion. I have one professor in particular who is extremely arrogant and pompous, and he thinks it his job to remind each student of how much more he knows about orthotics than we do. He's the kind of guy who has to say, do, and own everything just a little bit better than you. His day was just a little more exciting than yours. His car is just a little bit nicer than yours. Your house is 2,000 square feet, his house is 2,005 square feet... Not much bigger, but just big enough to brag about.

Consequently, this professor's tests are extremely difficult. For every answer I write, he always has another answer he was looking for that's just slightly longer and more detailed than mine. And to make matters worse, he's constantly reminding us students that we can be kicked out of the program at any time if our GPA falls below 3.0. He says he makes his tests extra difficult to "weed out" the students who aren't smart enough. Weed out!?! Why can't he just teach us the material instead of trying to see how many students he can fail? I mean, out of the 15 students in the class, two have already dropped out of the program, and one has even been admitted into the hospital for stress-related problems! So we've lost 20% of our class! I feel like my professors don't want me to succeed. I know it's a cynical way of thinking, but it's hard to believe any other way!

I'm just not cut out for the "you're an idiot" way of teaching. One professor actually writes little smart-aleck comments next to every wrong answer on my test. He could just mark the answer wrong and move on, but instead he writes put-down comments next to each and every incorrect answer...is that really necessary? Oh, Lord, help me get through this program! I know I'm not an idiot, but I let those comments get to me, and I get so stressed out and worked up that I make myself physically sick...anxiety is a sin, I am aware of this, I just can't seem to get a handle on it. I need Your peace, Lord!

Sorry for those of you who have stuck it out and read this whole not-so-uplifting blog...this post is more for my own personal "venting" purposes. I'll try to post something more positive next time!